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Ladies: Ever been carded for wine, while having a hot flash?

I thought I’d die laughing, but it wouldn’t have been worth the in-store safety investigation ordeal and the clutter of crime scene tape. Someone stubs a toe in a store, and Risk Management is all over it. Can you just imagine what might happen, if someone dropped to the floor in a veritable chuckle coma?

Still, sometimes life is just too darn funny.

This actually happened. In fact, it has occurred multiple times. (OK, don’t pull out a calculator and try to come up with a grand guzzling total. It’s not that kind of story.)

What’s the deal – when a store cashier asks for proof-of-age identification for a bottle or two of wine, even though the customer is having a raging hot flash on the spot? And what if said customer is also rummaging through her purse, trying to find her missing pair of reading glasses, which ironically seems to be perched on top of her own head? 

Can’t we just assume this lady is chronologically eligible to make the purchase?

Yes, checkout staffer. Let’s save the six customers behind me some time. You can bet I am at least 21. Now, please just scan the ibuprofen and the calcium supplements, and I’ll be on my way.

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Beware of the OTHER messages box on Facebook.

If you are on Facebook, do you ever check the OTHER message box? This is the spot where The Zuckman’s staffers (or more likely, the site robots) tend to tuck notes that come in from non-friend users. Some are simply spam, while many of those messages are astonishing or alarming. Others are altogether hilarious.

Lately, the OTHER messages box on Facebook has been called MESSAGE REQUESTS. But it’s no less scary.

20 doozies

Here are a few gems from the OTHER messages box, quoted without corrections of spelling or grammar. Bear in mind: These are from total strangers. OK, they are from much-stranger-than-strangers. And they go back a bit. (It’s been a while since I’ve sorted, deleted, or reported stuff from the mailbox of mire.)

  1. “Help! I would want know you please.”
  2. “I search for friend we lost contact for long time, but I find your page instead.”
  3.  how are you today? It's nice that people can socialise using FB method, I am not often here but I would like us to know each other more better,”
  4. “I am impatiently waiting your answer.”
  5. “You arrested my eyes.”
  6. i looking for serious relationship for ever and am not here to joke with any one”
  7. “You wish I get a chance.”
  8.  “I draw to people who quirky... do you mind if we can get be connected?”
  9. “I bet if they are elect Miss Face Book … she has be you.”
  10. “i must confess you are the one that cross my hearth.”
  11. “So sorry if contracting you here is wrong.”
  12.  “i wildly like to know you to better, sir. I do hope hear you soonest.”
  13.  “OMG. You are indeed appetizing.”
  14. “My fortune need bank transfer. Rule world with me.”
  15. “one thing you have to know is you queen ammong all.”
  16. “Please, can we be best of friends? my instinct tells me that your friendship will bring more joy my life.”
  17. “I will hoping to hear from you so that I tell you more about my self.”
  18. “Dear my best friend in past life.”
  19.  “Please don’t think it as fake message. My name is …”
  20.  “Hello? Hello? Hello?

Are you as creeped out as I am? And who was that last one, Adele?

Gotta say it: I don’t answer these mysterious missives. Heck, I usually don’t even read ‘em. This time, I scanned the first lines from the message listing for the purpose of this article. I opened a few to pull out the quotes listed above. And then I wanted to call a Hazmat team and schedule an emergency session in a decon chamber.

That OTHER/MESSAGE REQUEST box is a quagmire!

Sure, I know I should never even venture into the OTHER message box on Facebook. On the other hand, I occasionally find real messages tucked into that spot. Sometimes genuine folks may send well-meaning and informative notes without actually becoming Facebook friends. As such, their messages may be placed in that box.

So I steel my nerves and take a look once in a while to see what has piled up. But I still feel as if I need a bottle of brain bleach afterwards.

Best beware of the OTHER/MESSAGE REQUEST box on Facebook.

Here’s something especially funny.

I’ve compared notes with a few friends (of all ages and shapes and sizes and descriptions) and found they have received many of the same messages (verbatim) from the same people! Do we dare hope a mutual friend or two may have been pranking us all?

Adapted by this user from public domain artwork

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