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Merry Christmas in July Day!

No wonder our mailbox is bulging with promotional paperwork! The recycle bin is overflowing with colorful catalogs.

Summer may be in full swing, but today is Merry Christmas in July Day.

That means crafters are busily creating holiday handiwork. Gift shoppers are browsing in earnest. And direct mail marketers are frantically printing their fancy flyers.

Hold the phone!

Why are we thinking about Christmas in July?

It’s July 25th. Christmas comes in five short months, whether we’re ready or not. Boom! Santa will be slipping down that chimney before you can say, “Fill the sleigh, buddy.”

Shoppers, start your engines. You have 152 days until Christmas. Ho-ho-ho, and off you go!

Raise your hand, if you're already feeling the holiday spirit... or not.

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Did you miss the crying game at Walmart today?

I should have known better. But a heat wave has hit our region, and I needed to log some steps on my activity tracker. Plus, we were out of a few essentials at home. So I ventured out to the (Somebody stop me!) local Walmart.

Shoppers meet all sorts of people at the local Walmart. We’ve all seen the dreaded videos, revealing all sorts of too-revealing and outlandish outfits.

This is not about fashion.

It’s the crying game, for crying out loud.

First, please understand that I honestly love children. I adore their cute little faces, their cheery smiles, and their unaffected sense of innocence and transparency.

I also understand (Don’t we all?) the frustration and embarrassment of the tired mother or father, who tries desperately to drag a cranky toddler along for one more errand on an already too-busy day. Sometimes a nap and a timely snack or meal just aren’t in the cards, so to speak.

So it happens.


It’s not just at Walmart. It happens at Target, Meijer, the hardware store, the pharmacy, or wherever else a parent and tired-tot-in-tow happen to be when the little one’s inner bomb goes off.

But today was different. Or, at least, it seemed to be.

Racing the clock, I piloted my cart through about half of the aisles in the local Walmart. Each time I rounded a corner, I encountered another wailing youngster with a haggard parent along for the ride.

We’re talking tears, flailing arms and legs, full-out wails, and Olympic-level tantrums here.

Honestly, I didn’t set those kids off.

It was almost as if the store had stationed a screaming urchin in every aisle, instead of the usual snack sample purveyors. I have to wonder: Is this some sort of crying kid holiday?

Did I miss the memo announcing that today is Don’t Let Your Kids Nap, Then Take Them to Walmart to Out-Cry the Other Shrieking Children Day?

I think I’m gonna cry.

Cleanup on aisle three. Yep, that’d be me, right about now.
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On storm tracking and wisecracking

Severe thunderstorms have ripped across our region. Weather reports call for possible tornadoes and large hail. Witnesses report multiple funnel cloud sightings. Trees have toppled, and power is out in many areas.

So, like any responsible folks, we headed for cover during the latest instance. We camped out in the basement, while storm warnings filled the TV airwaves, and the local sirens blared.

Then this happened.

“I’m hungry,” moaned my kid.

“The tornado warning says we have to stay down here for another 38 minutes,” I answered.

“Let's order a pizza,” she said.

True story.
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