I think I got the POINT from this license plate

 

Is that a vanity license plate, or are you just happy to see me?

 Honestly, you can’t make this stuff up.

 Here it is, Monday morning, and I’m off to the local hospital for a medical scan. The doctor’s order calls for IV contrast.

 So, no big deal. I’ve had that a couple dozen times before. 

  I pull into the parking lot, and a grey minivan cuts right in front of me. Just then, I happened to notice the license plate:

### JAB

 The first three were numbers, but it’s probably illegal (or at least unwise) for me to post the whole license number.

  The plate was from another state, which I won’t name, except to say that it rhymes with “will annoy” (Sorry, had to. It’s a border thing.) And I hate to poke fun, but the plate may or may not have been stamped by a former Governor.

 Maybe that’s beside the point.

 

 I just had to wonder whether the minivan belonged to the phlebotomist, nurse, or medical student who would be administering my intravenous hookup.

 As it turned out, the one doing the needlework was most likely a first-timer or a trainee, based on the number of jabs she took to set things up in my arm. (I tried hard to be brave and stoic, as much as it hurt.) Let's just say she's likely to become sharper at it with practice.

 On the bright side, I’m kind of glad it’s a chillier day, so I won’t have to roll my sleeves up for my afternoon conference. The folks I’m meeting could jump to all sorts of conclusions, based on the needle tracks I’m now sporting. But I’m leery of taking a stab at any of that.

 

Image/s: Adapted from public domain artwork

 

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Phone scam: Cops don’t announce your arrest in a text.

Hello, random smart phone user. Guess what. The cops are after you. Really?

What do you do, if you suddenly receive an ominous-sounding text message, apparently informing you that you will soon be apprehended by the police? 

Wait. Let’s clarify that.

What if you receive such a shocking message, and you have not actually committed a crime?

This happened to me recently.

At first, I did a double-take. I admit it. Then I plunked the first line of the mysterious text message into an internet search bar and found a long list of scam reports.

This rather prevalent sort of message usually goes something like this:

“________ get expired after that you will be taken into custody by the local cops as there are ___ serious allegations pressed on your name at this moment we would request you to get back to us so that we can discuss about this case before taking any legal action against you the number to reach us is 555-555-5555 I repeat 555-555-5555 thank you.”

Whew! Can you say, “run-on sentence”? And has anyone ever heard of punctuation or capitalization? And what about redundant phrasing? The grammarian in me is dying over this one.

It’s not exactly delightful. In fact, it’s far from it. But something is definitely amiss. And it’s not my legal record – or yours. 

And at least in my town, the police are much more likely to come a-knocking than a-texting, if they have grounds for picking up a criminal.

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Zebra-dee-doo-da

Zoo-oo-oom … or not! Gotta admit it: This guy gets extra points for zeal. But I’m pretty sure he’s gonna get zipped right back into the slammer, even if he zigzags.

The guards are gonna spot him three zones away in this zany getup, while he urges his zoo creature to giddy-up. They’ll be zip-tying him with zest, faster than you can say “zippity-well-you-know.”

Score a zillion for the zebra and zero for his pajama-clad passenger.

Image/s:

Vintage photo – public domain

Series logo – adapted by this user from public domain artwork

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