Hairspray blamed for Wisconsin car crash

Pssst! Hairspray can be hazardous, particularly on the road.

The two cars were smashed, but the rear-ending driver’s hair must have looked fabulous.

Last night, at 6:18 p.m., Alane K. Franzen, of Freeport, Illinois, pulled up behind Jeffrey A. Hable, of Browntown, Wisconsin, in the northbound lane of a Clarno, Wisconsin, intersection. Hable was waiting to turn left.

That’s where things went south.

Franzen rear-ended Hable. The 38-year-old told Green County deputies a can of hairspray rolled under her brake pedal, preventing her from stopping in time.

We can only wonder why Franzen had a can of hairspray on the front seat of her car in the first place. Was she doing a quick touch-up on the way home or spiffing up for a night on the town? Or was she just out for a whirl?

Did her bangs look lovely, as she banged the other vehicle? Maybe not. After all, she couldn’t reach the hairspray. Remember? It fell on the floor!

Possibly, Franzen was just heading home from the drugstore, having purchased the hair care product.

Did Hable flip his wig, proverbially speaking, when Franzen clipped his car?

Perhaps such details do not matter now. Pursuing the possibilities would be like splitting hairs.

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At least she wasn’t texting while driving.

Hable and Franzen were uninjured in the close shave, along with the passengers in Franzen’s vehicle. Drivers and passengers were all wearing seatbelts. Air bags remained locked.

Both cars sustained damage, but motorists drove their automobiles from the scene after the mishap.

Undoubtedly, Franzen found the incident disTRESSing. Still, she emerged unticketed from her brush with the law.

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Does anyone else have this “Hairspray” song in his or her head right now?
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Image/s:

Woman Driving - Webweaver ClipArt

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Oh, Dear! Donna the Deer Lady Crosses the Line

Wildlife lovers, beware. Donna the Deer Lady has a complaint about deer crossings.

Stop me, if you’ve heard this one.

Apparently, this lady telephoned the Y-94 Playhouse radio show in Fargo, North Dakota, earlier this month to complain about the placement of deer crossing signs on major thoroughfares.

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“I’ve tried writing the newspaper and contacting TV stations,” she said. “But nobody seems to want to stay with this.

“Over the past several years, I’ve been involved in three separate car accidents involving deer, with the population and everything. Each of these incidents – they occurred shortly after I saw a ‘Deer Crossing’ sign on the highway. 

"Well, my frustration is that the Minnesota and North Dakota Departments of Transportation would allow these deer crossings to be in such high-trafficked areas.

“I mean, I’ve even seen them on the interstate. Why are we encouraging deer to cross at the interstate?”

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The radio host tried to interrupt Donna and explain the actual purpose of the “Deer Crossing” signs, but she persisted.

Here’s a video of the Deer Lady’s call.

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In fact, the Y-94 radio host called Donna back several days later to clarify the deer crossing situation one more time.

At that time, Donna the Deer Lady admitted her embarrassment. “I had no idea the signs were for [humans],” she said.

Clearly, she was buffaloed by the concept. Had it not been radio, perhaps the host would have seen the expression on Donna’s face. Perhaps she looked something like a you-know-what, caught in the headlights.

OK, maybe that’s a leap.

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Is Donna the Deer Lady for real?

This is not a hoof-in-mouth story. Nope, not at all, although Donna has been pelted with online scorn, as audio and video versions of her story have gone viral.

Maybe Donna should buck the system and run for office. Let’s ruminate on that for a moment.

Image/s:

American Deer

Creative Commons Licensing Photos

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