Please excuse the messy … here’s your sign.

I’m gonna blame this on a funny friend. Here’s what he posted today:

"I wanna make a sign for my yard that says, ‘Please forgive my messy lawn. I've been too busy, but I’m gonna mow it as soon as I get a chance!’”

Thanks, buddy. I think you just handed me the keys to my lifelong fortune. I want to make and market an entire series of signs. Here’s what they’ll say:

• “Please forgive my sink-full of dirty dishes. I’ve been too busy, but I’m gonna wash them as soon as I get a chance!”

• “Please forgive my unruly children. I’ve been too busy, but I’m gonna discipline them as soon as I get a chance!”

• “Please forgive my empty cupboard. I’ve been too busy, but I’m gonna go grocery shopping as soon as I get a chance!”

• “Please forgive my overflowing in-box. I’ve been too busy, but I’m gonna go through it as soon as I get a chance!”

• “Please forgive my giant basket of dirty clothes. I’ve been too busy, but I’m gonna wash them as soon as I get a chance!”

• “Please forgive my pile of overdue library books. I’ve been too busy, but I’m gonna return them as soon as I get a chance!”

• “Please forgive my hairy legs (or stubbly beard). I’ve been too busy, but I’m gonna shave as soon as I get a chance!”

• “Please forgive my unanswered phone calls. I’ve been too busy, but I’m gonna call backas soon as I get a chance!”

• “Please forgive my sagging belly. I’ve been too busy, but I’m gonna work out as soon as I get a chance!”

• “Please forgive my unkept garden. I’ve been too busy, but I’m gonna pull those weeds as soon as I get a chance!”

• “Please forgive my missing homework. I’ve been too busy, but I’m gonna turn it in as soon as I get a chance!”

OK, ‘fess up. How many of these signs will you be needing? Grab 'em before they're sold out. (I'm gonna need a few of them myself.)

And can you think of any more signs that might fit?

Image/s:

Sign created by this user at Txt2Pic

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Getting a bang out of school's toy gun exchange

Strobridge Elementary School, of Hayward, California, is holding a toy gun exchange today. Pupils packing play pistols have been invited to turn them in for raffle tickets. The prize is a brand-new bicycle.

One might call the event a Saturday Morning Special. (Ba-dum-bum.)

School administrators apparently claim toy guns desensitize kids to weapon usage.

Could playing cops and robbers actually contribute to future violence?

And what’s next? Super Soakers?

OK, school safety is serious business. And recent events of violence against kids in schools is a critical issue.

But c’mon. Who thinks this action is on-the-mark, and who wants to argue that it takes aim at the wrong targets?

Either way, the Strobridge Elementary School is sticking to their guns.

Well, shoot.

Hey, it might be one way to get more bike for your bang.

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Image/s:

Adapted from pistol clipart – public domain

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