Hey, cable company. Welcome to the new year …

Maybe there’s a disconnect at Time Warner Cable.

I just spent three hours on the phone with the cable company, trying to reconnect to the internet. The back-story is simple: A tech did an in-person modem install four months ago, which seemed to work, but the system suddenly failed this morning.

You know the story. You’ve lived the story. You don’t wanna hear that story.

In short, after countless modem resets and umpteen telephone transfers, probably sending my call whirling around the globe more times than a NASA satellite orbit, I finally heard the phrase I craved.

“Let me set up a service call for you.”

Oops. That’s not gonna work, either.

“The first available appointment is in two days.”

What!?!

I took the appointment and hung up … and immediately redialed to follow up with TWC customer service. Amazingly, the customer service rep punched in some coding (which the tech gurus apparently did not possess) and fixed the wifi problem (which was created by the modem installer a few months ago).

No one at the cable company can figure out why the connection even worked for the past few months.

Really, Time Warner Cable?

But here’s the hilarious part.

During the multi-hour telephone call, while I was placed on hold for extended stretches, I could not help but snicker. Each time the horrific music stopped to reset, my speaker phone was bombarded with new movie release announcements and limited-time discount offers – which all expired two months ago.

“Act now. Offer ends November 24^th.”

Seriously? 

That’s right.

Time Warner is promoting such new releases as Brave and Men in Black III. They are hawking a multi-game package for the NFL’s regular 2013 fall season and the college football series. Another promo invites signups for the NBA season, but the offer runs out on (You guessed it.) November 24, 2013.

Just checked my calendar, and we're creeping up on February 2014. 

Sounds like someone else has a disconnect.

Hey, Time Warner. Here’s a quarter. Buy a clue.

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