What are the worst holiday gifts
you have ever received? I’ve gotten some doozies! Bet you have too.
Sure, it’s the
thought that counts.
I’m touched that people actually remember me during the
holiday season. I’m truly grateful to be loved, especially at Christmastime.
And I truly appreciate the thought, effort, and even expense that go behind
every gift.
Having said that, here are the worst gifts I ever received,
from A to Z. I hope this will prevent others from purchasing or receiving
similar items. (Please consider the spirit in which this is intended, just for
fun.)
Anything from Hot
Topic. What am I, Goth Mom?
Bird claw. My
brother hunts. He dried the claw, drilled a hole through the stump and made me
a key ring. Eek!
Cupid socks. Gee,
which holiday is it, again?
Dishwashing soap.
Seriously! Where is the Grinch when we need him?
Electric shaver.
Is there a message here?
Frog growing kit.
What!?!
Glitter art kit:
Ever tried to vacuum up glitter?
Halloween
decorations. Has someone been shopping a post-holiday closeout sale?
Ice cream maker.
Who’s gonna churn it?
Jump rope. I have
enough bouncing parts without this!
Kite. What am I, 12?
Lava lamp. Are
you trying to give me 60’s flashbacks?
Musical duck. As
if last year’s singing bass wasn’t bad enough!
Nose-hair trimmers.
Even Grandpa wouldn’t take ‘em.
Owl (plastic).
What a hoot. Who knew?
Pink polka dot leggings
(for a grown woman). Who do they think I am, Miss Piggy?
Quilted potholders.
Get real. By Christmas, my baking days are over for at least a month. Besides,
we’re still recycling last year’s fruitcake.
Recipes. What am
I, taking orders? This was not a recipe file or book, just certain recipes the
giver wanted me to make. (Aha!)
Spider. OK, it
was rubber, but it still creeped me out!
ThighMaster. Was
this a not-so-subtle hint, or what?
Underwear. We’re
not talking lovely lingerie here, but basic tidy whitey undies. Even long-johns
would go over better.
Vacuum cleaner.
Sure, that’s romantic!
Wicked widgets. A
chocolate fountain, s’mores maker, pasta-puller and fajita machine are simply
space-takers after the first use. And would someone please explain why the same
person gave me toasters, five years in a row?
eXtravagant
regifting. Certain family members tend to overfill gift bags with oddly
assorted items that clearly came from their students or staffers. We’re talking
"A+ Teacher" apple ornaments, dollar-store bath items, hokey notepapers, cutesy socks and
more.
Yachting magazine. Pretty pictures, but I don’t think a
schooner and sailing lessons were included in the gift.
Zilch. Yep,
believe it or not, some people never remember. Not even a card. Gee, did I
forget them this year too?
That about sums it up
for my worst holiday gifts from A to Z.
Please don’t tell my family or friends, just in case they
have already wrapped some of these items and placed them under my tree! When I
tell them I love their gifts, I don’t wanna be busted!
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