Most people would rather get out of jail than in. But
then, most folks aren’t Lawrence John Ripple of Kansas. Several major news
outlets, including the Associated
Press and Reuters,
have reported details of the incident, which occurred this week.
Here’s the short
version:
Apparently, Ripple opted for a trip to the joint, once
pushed to the point. During a brig (I mean, big) argument with his wife, the
70-year-old claims he told her he’d rather go to jail than stay with such
travail. (We have to wonder: Will she post his bail?)
Instead of sticking it out at home, Ripple supposedly held a
stickup at a local bank. Reportedly, he handed a teller a note, saying he had a
gun. No one seems to know if he actually possessed a firearm – or if he was
loaded (or if he had a gun that was loaded).
Perhaps Ripple just had a pen. Or he wanted a trip to the pen.
Well, you know.
Anyway, the bank employee is said to have handed the guy a
few grand.
Next, the hapless hubby cooled his heels at the bank,
waiting for the police to arrest him and take him to the cooler, so to speak.
He seems to have told the cops he’d opt for a trip to the big house over a trip
home to his spouse.
You might say he felt so contested that he went and got himself arrested.
You might say he felt so contested that he went and got himself arrested.
Last we heard, the guy was in the pound. No one is
saying whether he used his one phone call. But we are willing to bet we know
who he did not call.
Cue the ripple of
protest here. Or not.
Maybe Ripple will sign a waiver or get out early for good
behavior. Either way, he’s not likely to curry any favor with the Missus.
(Maybe he already forgave her for whatever it was.)
Is there a moral to
this story?
The
lockup is no place to sleight home about.
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) has been cited as saying, “People
usually are happiest at home.” Maybe Ripple would beg to differ.
.Image/s:
Adapted by this user
from widely circulated Wyandotte County
Detention Center press photo
fair use
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