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Wednesday

These two guys hit the golf ball jackpot every week



What’s in the water at the golf course?

That little rivulet is a veritable treasure trove. At dusk, just as the mosquito population emerges, unknown hobbyists don their rubber waders and venture into the water.

Are they angling for trout? Panning for gold? Collecting decorative rocks? Not at all! These surreptitious scavengers are hunting for errant golf balls.

When I used to play golf (or at least, try to play golf), my delinquent tee shots alone probably gave these folks reason to plunge into the water each evening.

Of course, that’s exactly why I carried an esoteric assortment of logo-imprinted golf balls, mostly left over from my days in corporate advertising. These golf balls bore such names as Abbott Laboratories, Allen-Bradley, Briggs & Stratton, Caterpillar, Engineering Daily, Industry Week, Johnson Controls, Navistar, and Wells Fargo. Others sported emblems for everything from apple cider to zoo fund-raisers.

Friends and family members used to present me with pristine packages of fresh white golf balls bearing perfect dimples and unmarred printing. But where’s the sport in that?

Here’s a game that’s even more fun than golf.

Meet Myron and Ralph. These two men retired several years ago from prominent corporate executive positions and moved with their wives to an exclusive gated Florida golf community, where they met one another.

On weekdays, you can find these two comrades, pulling a little red wagon along the outside of the fence that lines the 13th and 16th fairways and picking up stray golf balls. On Saturdays, Myron and Ralph set up shop in a rented booth at the local flea market and sell their findings. They advertise their spherical surprises as No-Water Balls, claiming they have stayed out of the drink.

I guess old entrepreneurs never die. Perhaps they just begin selling stray golf balls.

Myron and Ralph think they’re pretty smart fellows.

But I know something Myron and Ralph do not know. Two other retirees, Tom and Carl, visit the used golf ball stand at the flea market each week and purchase a big bag of balls from Myron and Ralph. While the flea market is still open, before Myron and Ralph return home, Tom and Carl work their magic with the golf balls.

Tom and Carl take the used balls and drop them in the grass, all the way down the outside fence-line by the 13th and 16th fairway.

See those two guys sitting on the patio, just this side of the 16th tee and chuckling at the two guys picking up lost balls? You guessed it! That’s Tom and Carl.

Images:
Adapted from ClipArtHeaven image
       
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