What’s in the water at the golf course?
That little rivulet is a veritable treasure trove. At dusk,
just as the mosquito population emerges, unknown hobbyists don their rubber waders and venture into the water.
Are they angling for trout? Panning for gold? Collecting decorative rocks? Not at all! These surreptitious scavengers are hunting for
errant golf balls.
When I used to play golf (or at least, try to play golf), my
delinquent tee shots alone probably gave these folks reason to plunge into the
water each evening.
Of course, that’s exactly why I carried an esoteric
assortment of logo-imprinted golf balls, mostly left over from my days in
corporate advertising. These golf balls bore such names as Abbott Laboratories,
Allen-Bradley, Briggs & Stratton, Caterpillar, Engineering Daily, Industry
Week, Johnson Controls, Navistar, and Wells Fargo. Others sported emblems for everything from
apple cider to zoo fund-raisers.
Friends and family members used to present me with pristine
packages of fresh white golf balls bearing perfect dimples and unmarred
printing. But where’s the sport in that?
Here’s a game that’s
even more fun than golf.
Meet Myron and Ralph. These two men retired several years
ago from prominent corporate executive positions and moved with their wives to
an exclusive gated Florida
golf community, where they met one another.
On weekdays, you can find these two comrades, pulling a
little red wagon along the outside of the fence that lines the 13th
and 16th fairways and picking up stray golf balls. On Saturdays,
Myron and Ralph set up shop in a rented booth at the local flea market and sell
their findings. They advertise their spherical surprises as No-Water Balls, claiming they have
stayed out of the drink.
I guess old
entrepreneurs never die. Perhaps they just begin selling stray golf balls.
Myron and Ralph think they’re pretty smart fellows.
But I know something Myron and Ralph do not know. Two other
retirees, Tom and Carl, visit the used golf ball stand at the flea market each
week and purchase a big bag of balls from Myron and Ralph. While the flea
market is still open, before Myron and Ralph return home, Tom and Carl work
their magic with the golf balls.
Tom and Carl take the used balls and drop them in the grass,
all the way down the outside fence-line by the 13th and 16th
fairway.
See those two guys sitting on the patio, just this side of
the 16th tee and chuckling at the two guys picking up lost balls?
You guessed it! That’s Tom and Carl.
Images:
Adapted from ClipArtHeaven image
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