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Is Thanksgiving dessert really as easy as pie?

What are you taking to Thanksgiving dinner this year?

My sister-in-law was kind enough to invite us to her home for the great turkey feast. She’s making the big bird, along with the gravy and lots of the fixings.

Not surprisingly, she has found herself with her finger in plenty of proverbial pies, as far as the family gathering is concerned. I was more than happy to volunteer to bring a few dishes.

“Anything, really,” I said.

Before I knew it, someone (a crusty old fellow, who shall remain nameless, but tends to be the dessert hound in our house) volunteered me to take home-baked fruit pies for Thanksgiving.

Who wants a slice of the pie?

Generally, I’m pretty game in the kitchen, but I must confess a little secret here.  

I’ve dabbled in plenty of desserts. I’ve made countless cakes, cookies, crepes, crisps, and other sweet concoctions. I’ve produced tarts and tortes, pastries and puddings. I’ve practically perfected the perennial pumpkin pie, as well as fabulous French silk, Peanut Butter Cup, and Guinness Lucky Irish pies.

But I’ve never made a fruit pie.

Nope. I’ve never produced an apple, blueberry, cherry, peach, or any other sort of fruit pie.

I don’t know do – re – mi about how to make a fruit pie.

Our Thanksgiving hostess is an all-American apple pie-making champ.

My sister-in-law is part of the pie-making upper crust. She won a blue ribbon for her one-of-a-kind apple pie at the Wisconsin State Fair, many years ago.

And it’s a beauty. Each slice stands about four inches high and contains at least two apples’ worth of tangy fresh fruit. The crust is light and crunchy and sculpted like an art museum artifact.

That sort of rules out the frozen pie-crust or pie-crust-in-a-box option for me, don’t ya think?

I’d have to be a little pie-eyed even to try my hand at this game. Don’t agree? Shut your pie-holes, naysayers.

Simple Simon met a pie-man, going to the fair. Sure, we all have. Visit any state or county fair, and you may even find pie-on-a-stick. But this fruit pie-making project sort of shakes me to my core and puts me in the pits.

Marie Callendar and Sara Lee, hold it right there.

I know you ladies have lovely frozen pies of every flavor. But that would be cheating. These pies have to be from scratch, with crusts rolled out by hand and fresh-grown fruit. I wonder if creating those woven lattice pie crust tops is anything like doing a braid weave on a horse's mane.

I've got this one. I can do it! How hard can it be?

No, wait.

If I even take a stab at fruit pie-making for the family Thanksgiving, I’ll probably find myself having a rather interesting dessert of my own. You got it: humble pie.

Still, there’s more than one way to skin an apple … or a peach … or any other fruit.

I’m thinkin’ cobbler. Who’s with me on this one?

Apple Pie A-B-C – Vintage Artwork
Public Domain/Wikipedia Commons

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1 comment:

  1. Could you imagine how much worse it would be if your pies turned out as scrumptious? Cobbler seems way less nuclear.