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Can anybody wake up this security guy?

A friend and I happened to drive past a behemoth corporate headquarters complex today, returning from a weekend jaunt. We had to stop and stare and snap a quick photo.

I’ve heard of artificial intelligence, of course, but this is something else altogether.

Just inside the gateway of the sprawling self-enclosed city of enterprise stands a very official looking guardhouse. And look who’s manning the controls. This guy is scary indeed.

Go ahead. See for yourself.

Give him a nudge, and see what happens. C’mon, I dare you.

Pull out the plastic, or you won’t get in!

Wearing the corporate logo boldly on his polo shirt, this guy stands as still as a member of the Queen’s Guard. I’d be willing to wager no visitor could make this stoic sentry crack a smile, either.

Take a closer look.

Of course, I cannot tell you where this guy is stationed. It’s classified.

If I told you, we’d probably both have to disappear for a while.

Let’s just say this Southeastern Wisconsin company has security all wrapped up, along with the rest of their business.

After all, they’re no dummies.

Hey, they hired a model employee to staff the security booth at their main entrance, didn’t they? And his job security is obviously intact, as he’s unlikely to badger the bosses for raises.

But who gave this guy his job references for the human resources department, Buzz Lightyear and Barbie?

Don’t you just wonder what the ladies in the steno pool have to say about this shiny-clean guard? Perhaps they think he’s a living doll. Maybe they’ve already ordered action figures in his likeness for the company Christmas party.
I’d have taken a few more shots, but that little camera eye began following me, as I stood outside my still-running vehicle to catch the right angle. And it’s a fair bet someone is already documenting my license plate numbers.

Let’s just hope I don’t end up actually producing license plates, just for clicking a few shots of the preppy corporate version of G.I. Joe on the job.

Photos by Linda Ann Nickerson – Nickers and Ink

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