How do you identify
success?
What
counts most, when we pick whom to place at the top of the proverbial heap? Do
we tally professional achievements, compute high school grade point averages,
count up amassed wealth, or look for celebrity status?
Sometimes we measure
success by degrees.
Consider
the late Val Patterson of Utah. Shortly
before succumbing to throat cancer, the 59-year-old fessed up to a misclaim.
Apparently, a loan department staffer at his alma mater, the University of Utah,
set him an unearned Ph.D., diploma, although Patterson never even graduated
from the school.
But he'd kept the pseudo-degree.
But he'd kept the pseudo-degree.
“I
never even learned what the letters ‘Ph.D.’ stood for,” he said in his
self-penned obituary. In the same document, Patterson owned up to several other
pranks and crimes. The guy probably had a Trick of the Day in his pocket during his lifetime.
Apparently, a Ph.D. can
mean any number of things.
My
own brother started a running joke in our family when he showed up for
Christmas dinner in a crisp button-down shirt bearing this monogram on one
cuff:
PHD
We
all began proposing new meanings for the oft-esteemed letters. Many of these do
not bear repeating here.
Eventually,
when my somewhat sheepish brother could put a word in edgewise, he explained that he had purchased the
tailored shirt at an overstock store. Apparently, someone whose initials
actually were PHD had returned the garment for some reason.
And
my brother had bought the prestigious-looking shirt for a song.
Because
he’s a teacher, my brother has plenty of hilarious stories of varied responses folks have
expressed at the sight of his initialed cuff.
We
think he’s worthy of fame, with or without the famous letters. But the classic
shirt proves he has it all buttoned up.
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