Tuesday

Facelift Bungee may be a stretch


Here’s a new wrinkle on avoiding aging.

Want a smooth movie-star face? Who doesn't?
Kimberly Aschauer, of Boca Raton, Florida, found a way to lift her countenance for her son’s wedding a couple of years ago.

She considered cosmetic surgery, but found the costs too steep. So she braided up a few locks of her long blonde hair, beginning at her temples. Then she pulled the braids back along both sides of her head, and fastened them with a bungee-like contraption.

Voila! Instant facelift.

Now Aschauer is marketing the Facelift Bungee for $24.99. It’s a stretchy elastic band with a tiny comb on each end, packaged in a little jar that looks like those containing anti-aging potions.

Users must have medium-length hair, long enough to braid, to use the Facelift Bungee, which comes in both nude and black.

The Florida woman claims her Facelift Bungee takes 10 years off a woman’s (or even a man’s) life in 10 minutes with no surgery or botox. (How long does it take you to make a couple of braids, honey?)

With patent pending, Aschauer’s Facelift Bungee is now available online and in several high-end hair salons and spas, particularly in Florida, the human raisin state. (You know, where folks go to grow darker and more shriveled.)
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Aschauer claims her Facelift Bungee is painless.

Having endured headbands, snug updos, and cinched ponytails, I beg to differ.

The Facelift Bungee may have Aschauer in a tight spot.

OK, so there may be a patent tug-of-war with Kelly Heyniger, a South Miami Beach socialite, who apparently claims to have created a similar product. It sounds like something of a snarl, as attorneys are trying to untangle the truth about the Facelift Bungee.

Do high hairstyles offer instant facelifts?
Still, the Boca Raton inventor is pulling in plenty of attention with her product.

Daytime TV talk shows and radio features are picking up the trail, featuring the allegedly instant facial rejuvenation product.

“I get up, brush my teeth, and pop my bungee in,” Aschauer told ABC TV. “It’s that simple.”

Maybe she’s onto something there.

Do up-tight hairstyles crank away wrinkles and make faces appear younger?

How many of us have made really tight ponytails, French braids, or corn rows and noticed how such styles pulled up forehead wrinkles and crow’s feet on our faces?

Maybe so, but how long can we hold such hairstyles without headaches?

Remember the old “Mommy, my pigtails are too tight” joke?

Does it work?
Here’s how that might feel.

Take both your hands, right now. Place one palm on each side of your face, sort of like Macauley Culkin in the famous shaving scene in 1990’s Home Alone, only a bit higher. Now, slide your hands backward, as far as you can stand.

Got it?

Voila! Instant facelift, and it’s free!

OK, I admit it. The “Home Alone” facelift isn’t a hands-free operation like the Facelift Bungee.

Take a look at the Facelift Bungee. See for yourself:
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Whiz-bang. Just add a pair of Spanx, and you can be elastically enhanced at both ends.

Goodbye, Father Time.

"Mr. DeMille. I'm ready for my close-up."

But here’s a caveat. If you should spot anyone wearing a Facelift Bungee, duck, and take cover. We can only imagine what might happen, if that bungee should let go.

Image/s:
Women’s Faces
Creative Commons/Wikipedia Commons Photos
Macauley Culkin in Home Alone
Hughes Entertainment/20th Century Fox
Video Still
Fair Use Photo
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3 comments:

  1. My mom just purchased the Facelift Bungee; we received it today, and were very excited to try it. Sorry to say it was a real disappointment to say the least.
    Once you have attached the bungee to one side with the braid you are suppose to very easily pull the band around to the other side, and attach the bungee to the opposite braid. In the video there is nothing on how you apply this to the opposite side, sounds simple right...Well it's NOT! When you try to do the other side it fails to perform like the first side, as the direction is not the same so you lose the entire concept of which this product promotes "LIFTING THE SKIN UP."

    We worked with this for hours; it became very painful, and frustrating. You're basically depending on the braids to pull your face back with this horrible contraption! I am certain one who uses this would not only get a headache but lose hair from pulling your hair so hard in order to get the desired results this company claims. Forget about desired results because there on none, maybe some people will see some improvements but when their hair has been ripped out from the constant torture of pulling on your hair, I would highly suggest NOT to ever use this product again!

    Sorry for the let down but I am so disappointed for my mom, she was so looking forward to using this product as her best friend is coming to visit, and she wanted not so much to look younger but to minimize the sagging
    Awhile back my mom purchased another product called “Instant Face Lift Tape” but out of curiosity she wanted to try Facelift Bungee after watching the owner on TV promote her new product.

    I would NOT recommend Facelift Bungee to anyone but if you do purchase it don't get your hopes up! I would try Instant Face Lift Tape at ericscollection.com. Instant Face Lift Tape was created by Art Harding a hair & makeup artist for celebrities, movies, and TV. It is much easier to apply, not uncomfortable, and I believe around $25.00.
    I am not one to post but when it is something I feel very strongly about it is important for me to share my personal experience/opinion honestly, and respectfully.

    Thank you for the opportunity to share my feelings.

    Ojaigrl

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